Woe is me! I read the book before I saw the movie and of course it ruined everything. One would think that I would have learned my lesson from previous follies, but I obviously have not.

The Help, another novel turned into a movie, was written by author Kathryn Stockett and flew under the radar until the movie’s preview came out this past spring. It is now on the New York Times bestseller list and has been on there for over 100 weeks. I think Ms. Stockett needs to thank the Silver Screen for her recent push into..ahem…money.

This movie is about a young white woman and two black women who secretly take matters into their own hands and tell the world what it’s like to be “The Help” in Jackson, Mississippi during the early 60s.

What I like about this movie is that Tate Taylor, the director and writer, tries to make a movie that speaks to various generations. We all know racism in one form or another and this movie attempts to show us some of the earlier sides of segregation and racism. Do I think they accomplish this? Not quite, but having read the book I may be biased, just slightly. I will admit that while some of the acting left a lot to be desired I believe the issue was with the script and not the actors.

What you really want to know is–is this movie worth paying money for and seeing in the theater? I will say that if you need a movie with heartwarming moments, but a serious plot, then yes this is worth the money and time. I also think this is a movie you can wait to watch on DVD or Bluray, if you aren’t in the mood for heartwarming and serious. Here is my one warning: if you expect a fast paced movie then you will be disappointed, because this movie is a long 137 minutes. Worth it? Maybe if you haven’t read the book first (insert picture of me repeatedly hitting myself in the head with the book).

Grade: B

P.S. Read the book after seeing the movie. It’s a pretty good read and excellent material to share with others.

Of all movie genres, I enjoy Westerns the most.  They are usually guy-oriented character studies and deal with things like integrity, honor, and stepping up when life gets tough.  The hero is often a man with no family (just his horse and dog) and a very low tolerance for bullshit (I make no connection between those two, of course).  Cowboys & Aliens starts with that traditional Western formula and adds a bit of Science Fiction.  What’s not to love?  Sadly, everything.

I knew we were in trouble from the opening credits when I saw five writers for screenplay and three more for “screen story” (despite Steve Oedekerk of Thumb Wars fame).  Stories should not written by committee.  When they are, Hollywood is just trying to target every demographic.  How often does that work?

Cowboys & Aliens starts out like any great Western.  Our hero wakes up with amnesia, but  discovers he’s wanted for crimes against a grumpy cattle ranger. Even within the minor characters, there are a lot of interesting relationship dynamics (like how a Western should be).  But as soon as the aliens appear, everyone forgets they hate each other and become one big happy family.  Even at the end, there’s an “Aw shucks, I guess we can’t be mad now” moment.  It’s terrible.

Olivia Wilde gets the worst of all this.  Her backstory seems quite interesting, but there’s no time devoted to any part of it.  Instead, she gets reduced to Hot Chick #1.  I don’t know which writer to blame for this, but shame on him for trying to make a Michael Bay movie.

I have no problems with mash-ups like this.  In fact, they can be quite fun and I had high hopes for Cowboys & Aliens.  But fantasy elements must enhance a story that can stand on its own.  It just doesn’t work here.  It’s worth a rental (for Harrison Ford’s awesome character), but mostly forgettable.

Grade: C+

Kristi’s Take…

I was never a big fan of the Western until watching Sergio Leone’s Dollars Trilogy (aka The Man with No Name). So, imagine my surprise when I saw the trailer for a movie that had cowboys and aliens! I decided that since Jon Favreau did such an excellent job with the Iron Man movies, then he couldn’t possibly go wrong with this movie.

WRONG!

After seeing this movie people kept asking me what I thought about it and I couldn’t give them a definitive answer. I felt ambivalent about what I had seen and couldn’t put my feelings into words, that has changed.

The writing for this movie was atrocious and there were so many unfinished story lines that I felt that a child had written the script. The only positive to this movie were the effects and the possible story line for Olivia Wilde’s character, which unfortunately, goes undeveloped. Other than that, the movie was unfinished and not worth the money we spent for the ticket or worthy of being out on my birthday.

Now if you want a fun Western, then watch Rango or pop in a Clint Eastwood film, because you can’t go wrong with that man. Sorry, I think I’m drooling.

Grade: C

LIES! LIES! LIES! LIES! LIES! I sing this particular song before and after every romantic comedy I see and now I have your attention. What a handy song.

Alright, here’s the deal- I pride myself on my romance & romcom movie knowledge and personal love of these sometimes overly outrageous films. Seriously, I own some of the first romantic comedies (& romances) that ever graced the big screen and this was a particular interest of study for me in college, so I’m kind of the supreme know-it-all of romance (/comedy) in movies. My romantic comedy viewing knows no bounds, even if it does get filed away in my mind somewhere. Like in that place we all have that’s labeled, “Why would you do this to yourself, seriously?”

Friends with Benefits (FWB) is my most recent venture into the romcom world and it was a lot/if not exactly like it’s predecessor (from this year may I add) No Strings Attached. The jokes are similar, the story line is the same and of course it ends happily.

Here is the break down (beware of the run on sentence):

Boy meets girl, they are blunt, sarcastic, and witty with one another, form a fast friendship, decide to have meaningless sex, sex scenes ensue, they stop having sex and try to be just friends, something “profound” happens to one of them, they “make love” then one person freaks out and runs away, people get angry, family says, “you are stupid and are meant for each other” and then a big romantic gesture happens, the end.

This all pretty standard for a modern romcom and after writing all of the above I will still tell you to go and see the movie if you need some comic relief. Unlike No Strings Attached the chemistry between Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake is palpable and very fun. This movie also has flash mobs and that alone makes it worth watching.

If you need a good dose of sarcasm, wit and romance then go see this movie. If you want the profane and less fun version then rent No Strings Attached.

Grade: A+ as a romantic comedy.

Oh, and this movie does have a lot of sexual stuff in it, so if that bothers you then this film is not for you.

Can you believe someone made a Captain America movie?  In 2011?  Patriotism isn’t exactly running high these days and everyone still remembers Team America as a valid representation of our country (F&*$ Yeah!).  The directors had an impossible task ahead of them and it’s amazing they pulled it off so well.

Captain America could easily represent American pride, bravado, and arrogance… all in spandex.  So the writers put our hero where be began: fighting Nazis in WWII.  Well really he’s fighting Hydra, the secret paranormal exploration division of the Nazis.  Basically the same guys Indiana Jones fights, but more comicbook-y.

Anyway, WW2 is the perfect setting for Captain America.  He’s dressed as a walking American flag, but when he’s killing Nazis (Hydra)  whilst saying, “I love the smell of Europe in the morning,” it’s not offensive.  In fact, it almost seems like that’s how it should be.

The full title is Captain America: The First Avenger.  That subtitle is important because it’s why this movie exists.  If you’ve stayed past the credits during Edward Norton’s Hulk, Iron-Man, or Thor you’ve watched a scene with Samuel L Jackson that merges all of these movies together into the same universe.  Captain America is the last Avenger to get his own film before the big Avengers movie hits next summer.  And if you stay past the credits this time, you get a trailer to hold you over.  With all of the actors returning, it’s looking pretty awesome.

If you’ve seen any of the other Avenger movies (even if you didn’t realize it), go check this one out for sure.  In fact, I’d recommend seeing all of them (though I haven’t seen Thor, yet).  As much as I hate origin stories, these four are pretty good and with Joss Whedon directing The Avengers, it could be the best movie next summer.

Grade: B+

Kristi’s Take…

I just want to start this movie review out by saying that I find it oddly comforting that ‘John’s wrong’ rhymes and I can’t wait to use it more often. As for this review I can’t say that I think he is wrong per say, but I can’t say I thought this movie was well done.

Aside from the awesome references to the other ‘Avengers’ and the foreshadowing for the upcoming Avengers flick, this movie fell short of my expectations. Captain America started out really strong (that’s funny because Steve Rogers didn’t), but after the big rescue scene it was like they decided the rest of the movie could be boring. The characters seem to lose a part of themselves and I’m not sure if that was the actors/actresses fault or the writers, but I have to say I was incredibly disappointed.

Now, having said all of that I still recommend that you see this movie in the theater for the best experience. Be on the look out for comments about other comic book characters and foreshadowing of things to come because that really is the best part of this movie.

Grade: B

Silencio! Let us have a moment of silence for the end of a magical era of Harry Potter.

It was 14 years ago that the first Harry Potter book came out in June of 1997 (I was only 12!) and in November of 2001 the world was introduced to the actors that would make the characters come to life on the big screen. This was a disaster of epic proportions. I’m pretty sure someone pointed a wand at me and said, “Stupefy” because by the end of the first film I was speechless.

These young actors were new to the scene and apparently so was director Chris Columbus (also directed- Mrs. Doubtfire & Home Alone) because he obviously mangled the first two Potter films. Of course this was only the beginning and as time wore on the actors got a little better and the directors (yes, that’s plural) changed their approach to the films (AMEN!).

Part II of the final installment tried to remain true to the book, but like most books-made-into-movies this is incredibly difficult due to details that are hard to portray on the big screen. In the case of Part I & II, David Yates, director of the final four films, did a pretty good job of mixing the action and story development to bring this epic journey to a close.

Do I suggest that you see this movie in the theaters? Yes. Did I absolutely love the film? No. I was entertained, but the acting left a lot to be desired and Daniel Radcliffe’s pasty skin stood out like a lighthouse beacon on a clear night. LUMOS! I guess that made it easier for them to show how dirty he had to remain throughout the entire film???

Alright all you Muggles go and see this movie and celebrate the fact that Daniel Radcliffe has decided to stick with his theater career instead staying on the big screen (although I have to say kudos to the semi-rocking bod we get to see for like 3.5 seconds).

My final spell- Avada Kadevra!

Grade: A

 John’s Take…

This weekend, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II broke the opening weekend box office record.  It raked in nearly $170M including almost $45M in the midnight shows late Thursday.  That’s not really surprising, but I bet there are people who made this movie their first venture into Harry Potter.  There’s gotta be, right?  I mean there were folks who saw Return of the King without knowing anything about The Lord of the Rings.  I have to have coffee with some of these people.  For science.  Their existence makes my head hurt.

Ten years ago(!!), my introduction to the Harry Potter universe came with the first movie.  I’d gone to check it out just to see what all the hub-bub was about.  Harry Potter was a cultural icon in an era that seems like ancient history today.  If you remember, the anti-Potter books at Christian bookstores were more numerous than Bibles.  When the Church demonizes something, you know it’s a big deal.  Just like Footloose.

Kristi mentioned how terrible the first movies were.  She’s wrong, of course, because they were only terrible to those who had read the books.  The Prisoner of Azkaban was the one that hooked me.  When re-watching them prior to this last release, Azkaban was, indeed, the worst of the bunch so I’m not sure what appealed to me.  It was probably Gary Oldman.  That dude is awesome.

Like I mentioned, I decided not to read the books.  I wanted to see if the films could do the story justice despite removing large chunks of it.  My book-reading friends would routinely ask how I could possibly know what was going on.  In the later movies, it definitely got more challenging.  Of course, 18 months between viewings didn’t help.  Things were more clear watching them all back to back.

It’s amazing in this internet age, that I went into Harry Potter 7.2 without having the ending spoiled for me.  A story that had lasted ten years of my life was coming to a close and I didn’t know what to expect.  Those that knew the ending (like my cohort) seemed disappointed in the movie, but for me, it was fantastic – almost perfect.  Things moved quickly, but everything reached a conclusion that satisfied ten years of wait.  What more could I have wanted?

I take a romantic view of this movie.  Even if it could exist on its own (it doesn’t), it would bear ten years of emotion and life on its shoulders.  In my theater, someone was sobbing for the last third of the movie.  One friend used it as a decade of reflection blog post.  Most everyone has happy Harry Potter memories.  It’s a good story with good themes and there’s just not enough of those.

I’ll probably have to read the books eventually.  But for now, I’m happy to close this decade of life and await the next big thing.

Grade: A+

Last  summer, Salt was released one week after Inception.  Unsurprisingly, it tanked and acted as the salt within the salt in the wounds of Angelina Jolie fans.  Thankfully, God created the DVD and set us free from Box Office release schedules.

Salt is the perfect Angelina Jolie movie.  No, she doesn’t play a sex-crazed adoption agent in the wilds of Africa (though that might be entertaining), she plays a butt-kicking super spy…that other thing she’s good at.  Her new anorexic look is beginning to destroy the illusion, however.  Her arms are so tiny I was sure she was gonna break one after every punch.

There are three different versions of the movie on the DVD: Theatrical, Director’s Cut, and Extended Unrated Cut.  Seriously.  This means the studio, the director, and the editor couldn’t agree on how to tell this story.  Two of them are idiots.  You see, the Extended Unrated version is the best.  You probably think that’s the “with added boobs!” version, but it’s not.  It’s got a completely different ending and major scene changes throughout.  It’s not even five minutes longer than the theatrical version, but far superior.

If you were on your third viewing of Inception (like me) and missed Salt, go check it out.  It’s a great spy thriller, so long as you pick the right version off the disc.  I’ll be waiting for the sequel… Pepa.

Grade: A-

Kristi’s Take…

Before I read what my fellow muse-r writes I always have my initial thoughts and it amazes me how in tune we tend to be for some of these reviews. It’s like I’m the salt to his pepper and we compliment each other so well it’s disgusting at times. Ok, I’m done with that. Now, on to my review.

Angelina Jolie only has one character that she plays and here are some of the qualities that one can find in her character: she is a badass beautiful woman, usually a spy of some sort, sexy and of course very serious. I believe in all of her films she plays this exact same character every time, well minus the spy role in some cases.  But you know what! She does it incredibly well and  I have to give her a round of applause for sticking to one character and never branching out.

For this film Jolie definitely brought her A game and kicked major spy ass. I saw the theatrical version and after reading about the extras I’m feeling a little left out, so I am going to join you readers and purchase or rent Salt in order to see the multiple endings.

I give this film an A!

Grade: A

The Transformers franchise has had its share of problems. Mainly:

-Transformers 1
-Transformers 2
-All of the Transformers look the same.
-All of the Transformers look stupid.
-The plots are insipid.
-The action is confusing.
-The Transformers have no personality or character arcs.
-Michael Bay
-Shia LaBeouf

So now we have #3 and shockingly, it’s the best of the series.  Don’t get me wrong, this is still crap.  Just more refined crap that isn’t as bad as the others… like the Black Eyed Peas vs. Glee covering the Black Eyed Peas.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (that title never gets any better) is the first 3D movie for Michael Bay.  Walking into the theater, I gave last rites for my eyes.  Thankfully,  the 3D was the best part of the movie.  Even in 2D, the benefits will be noticed.

In the previous Transformers, all the action was filmed with quick cuts and Shaky-Cam.  If a director does that in 3D, eyeballs explode (This also happens in 2D, but directors don’t seem to care).  Now, since Bay has to film action scenes like a normal person, everything stays in focus.  So when a robot rips the spine out of another, you can actually see what’s going on.  No more confusing metal-on-metal carnage in split-second Shaky-Cam.  Brilliant!  I was so shocked that I could follow the action, I doubted I was seeing a Michael Bay movie.  But just as those thoughts came to mind, the camera would slowly rotate around someone and I’d think, “Ah yes.  There we go.”

Sadly, that’s the only good part of this movie.  The plot is better, but still kinda dumb.  And speaking of dumb, Megan Fox was replaced by someone even more vapid.  Never thought that was possible.  And why does Shia LaBeouf still land acting roles?  The dude ignites a rage I leave reserved for doggie sweaters and social media experts.  Did you hear they might continue the Indiana Jones franchise with him?  This is why we can’t have nice things.

If you hated the other two, this one is worth a look.  If you loved the others, then you obviously will like anything, and you should go knock your socks off.

Grade: C+

Kristi’s Take…

Like my fellow movie muse-r (hey, it’s the only way to use a made up word without the red squiggle telling me how wrong I am, so just go with it) I was extremely ambivalent about the third installment of this franchise, but I was surprised that I didn’t gouge my eyes out half way through the movie.

My issues with the Transformer movies all revolve around the chaotic nature of the cinematography and the lack of a plot, but I was willing to keep trying for my beloved Bumblebee. Bay definitely cleaned up his act with this film by giving it a somewhat workable plot and with some unusual casting choices. I also have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed the original television footage used from the moon landing, the fake John F. Kennedy and a very special appearance by a very old astronaut.

Even though Bay apparently cleaned up his work I still think this film and the others are way to long and could use a good 1/2 hour chopped out of it somewhere (maybe the girlfriend stuff or the parents).

The lack of movie choices these past couple of weeks makes me want to give this movie a better rating than a C+, but I think the highest I could go is a B- and only it fulfills an action quota that most guys (and some gals) feel they need once a month.

This is waaaaay better than the new Selena Gomez movie, Monte Carlo. Don’t ask. I’m ashamed for myself. Just like I’m ashamed to say that I think Shia Labeouf (what a stupid name, his parents must hate him) is cute in that nerd/terrible actor kind of way.

Grade: C+ or B-