“Hey Kristi, what should we see tonight?”
“I’m up for anything.”
“Well, that Ryan Gosling movie got 92% on Rotten Tomatoes.”
“Yummy.”

And so began the worst decision of the year. Not only is Drive the worst movie of 2011, it’s probably the worst of the decade. How it managed to score so high on Rotten Tomatoes makes me think I’ve been pranked. Some internet joke has gotten the best of me.

I’ll start with the good: there isn’t any.

Drive begins with about three lines of stilted, monotone dialog in the first twenty minutes. Ok, no problem. Up started with no lines and it was brilliant. After the opening scene (which isn’t completely terrible), Drive starts a romantic subplot (or maybe it’s a main plot.  I couldn’t really tell). But the dialog style remains the same; two or three lines of things normal people wouldn’t say, followed by painful moments of awkward silence in between. Did I accidentally walk into a Twilight movie?

Even the (quote)action scenes(/quote) move at a pace that would make Eeyore shout, “Get on with with it!” Halfway through the movie, I noticed several people walk out.  First time I’ve seen that in a while.  I even lost my cohort to Words with Friends.

They pepper the second half with some laughably gratuitous violence and nudity, but it all reeks of a twelve year old trying too hard to be artistic.

Drive is a terrible, terrible movie. I’m not sure any more needs to be said.

Grade: F-

Kristi’s Take…

Three words-

Worst movie EVER!

Grade: F-