John’s Movie Musings

Where did the year go?  Work has me traveling so much that not only have I not watched many movies, I’m still trying to figure out where February went.  Despite all that, we’re a week away from the big summer movie blockbusters, so it’s time to check out what’s in store for us.

Here we go…

May 7

• Iron Man 2 – Wealthy bachelor spends his money on a suit that makes him a super hero.  Yeah, it’s Batman with more drinkin.  Just as awesome, though.

May 14

• Robin Hood – There have been a bazillion Robin Hood movies, but my fav is still the Disney version with foxes.  Russell Crowe takes the lead here, so expect lots of scowling.
• Just Wright – Rom Com starring Queen Latifah and Common.  I’m guessing “common” will be used a lot in the reviews.
• Letters to Juliet – Another movie for the ladies.  But won’t most of them be watching Russell Crowe?

May 21

• MacGruber - Hey look! A 30-sec SNL skit brought to the big screen.  Because that’s worked so well before.
• Shrek Forever After – Is the milk from this cow green?

May 28

• Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time – Movie based on a video game.  Bruckheimer moved to this franchise after Pirates of the Caribbean ran its course.  And hey, that was based off a ride.  This has gotta be better, right?
• Sex in the City 2 – Zombies attack a shopping mall or two.

June 4

• Get Him to the Greek – An R-rated, Judd Apatow comedy.  Expect lots of dick jokes.
• Killers - Ashton Kutcher movie that sort of looks like Mr. & Mrs. Smith.  Only really lame.
• Marmaduke - Yeah. that dog from the Sunday Funnies.  More like Marmapuke, amiright?
• Splice - Adrien Brody stars in a Sci-Fi cloning thriller.  Looks better than everything else this weekend.

June 11

• The A-Team – Proof Hollywood will reboot anything.
• The Karate Kid – No, my bad.  This is the proof.  Will Smith’s kid stars in this.  Seriously.

June 18

• Jonah Hex - I know nothing of the comic, but the trailer makes it look interesting.  Josh Brolin tries to look like a cowboy and Megan Fox tries to look pretty.  Both succeed.
• Toy Story 3 – Best movie of the summer?

June 25

• Grown Ups – Adam Sandler comedy about a bunch of kids getting together after 30 years for a reunion.  Could be funny.
• Knight & Day – Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz in a spy comedy.  I know nothing else about this.

June 30

• Twilight Saga: Eclipse – The adventures of Sparkles and Teen Wolf continue.

July 2

• The Last Airbender – The anime was incredible.  Let’s hope M Night doesn’t screw it up.  From the trailers, he got the look right.  Here’s hoping the story holds up.

July 9

• Despicable Me – Animated 3D yarn.  Can’t be all bad.
• Predators - I don’t know if this is a reboot or a sequel or what.  I just hope it’s awesome.

July 16

• Inception - This is that Leonardo DiCaprio movie that makes no sense.  Guess we’ll figure it all out in July.
• The Sorcerer’s Apprentice – Yeah, a live-action version of the Disney classic.  Wonder if there will be dancing brooms?  The music better not suck.

July 23

• Dinner for Schmucks - Steve Carell comedy.  That’s all I know.
• Romona and Beezus – G-rated kids movie based on a Beverly Cleary book.  I think there’s an empty tomb in this one.
• Salt - Angelina Jolie plays a spy seeking her nemesis, Peppa.

July 30

• Beastly - Bah.  This is a teen flick and not a new X-Men movie.
• Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore – /facepalm

August 6

• The Other Guys – Will Ferrel and Mark Wahlberg in a buddy cop comedy.  Trailer looks hilarious.
• Step-Up 3D - Crappy dancing movie in 3D.  Excited?

August 13

• Eat, Pray, Love – Julia Roberts movie.  The full title is “Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia.”  I bet she won’t find a good burger.
• Scott Pilgrim vs. the World – Michael Cera movie.  From that, you probably know everything.
• The Expendables – Stallone, Statham, Lundgren, Rourke, Willis, Schwarzenegger.  This movie might make you a man.  Even the ladies.

August 20

• Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang – This is a sequel, right?
• The Switch – Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston Rom Com about artificial insemination.  That’s a funny topic, right?
• Takers - Heist movie.  Looks like a poor man’s Ocean’s 11

August 27

• Going the Distance – Drew Barrymore rom com about long distance relationships.  It also stars Justin Long, so it’s gonna be like a Mac-meets-pretty-PC commercial.
• The Last Exorcism – until the sequel.
• Piranha 3D – Finally! A movie using 3D to its fullest potential.

And that’s it.  Odds on best of the summer?