John’s Movie Musings

Roland Emmerich hates smart people.  Exhibit A is 2012, but let me take a step back and walk you through a brief history of Mr. Emmerich’s work.

You may remember him initially from Independence Day.  A classic film, to be sure, but if you watched it with anyone in IT, they walked out saying the movie was completely unbelievable – due to the computer virus, not the aliens attacking the planet.  This was our first indication of Roland’s prejudice, but no one paid any attention because you were making fun of the smart computer people you saw it with.

His next project was Godzilla, a movie where cinema nerds flipped out over the rapping of a Japanese classic.  It was easy to miss the attack on smart people here because, well, Godzilla insulted everyone.

Next came The Day After Tomorrow.  Here, the target of Roland’s ire were climate scientists and geologists.  We should have seen it then, because real scientists were doing interviews on CNN saying how sad and wrong this movie was.  But we didn’t listen.

10,000 BC arrived a few years later.  Historians took the brunt in this one.  Fortunately, they didn’t pay much attention since they were still trying to recover from the last Indiana Jones.

Finally, we get to 2012.  Having defecated on every other university subject, Mr. Emmerich targets Astronomy, Mythology, Geology (again), and Physics.  Oh, let’s throw Drama in there too, since acting and plot suffer.  I’m sure that wasn’t intentional but when a drunk man starts flinging poo, bystanders get hit.

I know a few of you will see anything John Cusack is in.  So should you see 2012?  You know to check your brain at the door, so let’s discuss the special effects.  No.  Let’s not discuss anything.  They’re lame.  Maybe I’m getting spoiled, but when the earth blows up, I want more than a crack in the sidewalk.  Even the volcano sucked.

In short, nothing sated my disaster movie snobbery.  Maybe I should get some help.

Grade: C+