John’s Movie Musings

Time to dump 2009 like a bad habit.  But not before we take a look at the yearly box office numbers.

Here we go…

#10) The Blind Side – $193M (and counting)
Touching story, but probably won’t be remembered long.

#9) Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs – $196M
I’ve had this on Blu-Ray for weeks but haven’t had a chance to watch it. Maybe I can finally check it out this weekend.

#8) Monsters Vs. Aliens – $198M
Absolute garbage. Avoid this if you’ve been spared a viewing.

#7) Star Trek - $258M
This movie set the standard for all future franchise reboots. I’ve heard that even non-Trek fans love this. It’s fantastic.

#6) Avatar - $269M (and counting)
Avatar is still pulling in over $70M per weekend. It could easily turn out to be #1 of the year. More on it below…

#5) The Hangover – $277M
One of the funnier R-rated comedies in years. I’m off to Vegas next week, so I may have to watch this again before I go.

#4) The Twilight Saga: New Moon – $284M
I am so excited for this on DVD. With the additional Rifftrax soundtrack, I fully expect another two hours of pure comedy gold.

#3) Up - $293M
Pixar once again shows their genius. Go rent this.

#2) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – $302M
Only one more movie (split in two) left. At this point, I’m more interested to see where the careers of the Potter kids go.

#1) Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – $402M
We’re to blame for this. Bastards.

(Thanks BoxofficeMojo)

My Favorites:

Of all the films I enjoyed in 2009, these fall into what I consider a “Must See.” In order:

Taken: Fantastic movie with Liam Neeson as Mr. BadAss. I challenge you to not get emotionally wrapped up in the story. It’s intense. Even on a second viewing, the ending still got me.

Up: There is no dialog in the first ten minutes. By minute eleven, you’ll be in tears. Brilliant storytelling like this needs to be seen.

Avatar: Go see this in 3D before it leaves the theaters. You’ve never experienced anything like it. I’ve seen it twice and still want to see it again.

District 9: Where Avatar showed you can make a good movie with gobs of cash, District 9 proved you could do the same with only $30M. It uses the elements of Sci-Fi as a thin wrapper over deep, human themes that hit a little close to home.

So that wraps up the year. There are a few rumblings of Oscar nominees and I don’t think I’ve seen any of them. That will be my project for January.

See everyone in 2010.

I got into a discussion with some friends about whether or not The Blind Side qualifies as a chick flick.  I argued that it’s not a football movie (though it’s based on the real story of an NFL player) because it’s really about the mom (Sandra Bullock).  Thus, chick flick.  My friends said no because it’s not a romantic comedy and that I’m an idiot.  I was outnumbered, but I think the consensus ended in a draw.

The Blind Side opens with the NFL play that ended Joe Theismann’s career (In YouTube quality, no less).  When the entire audience gasped, I realized not everyone had seen that before.  Unfortunately, the movie doesn’t fully explain why they open with that clip.  There’s a reason given, but it’s weak and explained poorly.  My guess is that it’s there to fool all the men into thinking they really weren’t at a chick flick.

When I watched the trailers, I was certain this was going to be one of those movies that make your eyes all sweaty.  But it’s not.  At all, really.  It’s heartwarming and kinda cool to see the life story (Hollywood style) of this football player.  The conflicts are kind of weak and forced, but that’s a minor quibble.  If you’re in the mood for a non-rom-com chick flick, give it a rental in a few months.

Grade: B

James Cameron’s last film was Titanic.  You  may have heard of it.  It made a few bucks at the box office.  Can you believe that was in ’97?  Since then, Cameron took his new fortune and invested in 3D technologies.  He dived into the Atlantic Ocean and shot 3D footage of the real Titanic and explored the nuances of filming with two cameras. All of that knowledge and experience?  He put it into Avatar.  He just had to wait until the technology in the theaters could catch up with his vision.

Cameron just wasn’t learning about 3D this past decade.  He was also developing a process to animate believable, human expressions on CG characters.  That Uncanny Valley is too great of a challenge to just sit there, I guess.  WETA (The Lord of the Rings guys) mirrored real, full body performances of the actors onto blue, ten-foot tall CG aliens.  Before Avatar’s release, there were plenty of doubts about if this could work.  If it didn’t, you could bet there would be drinking games around all of the Smurfs and Thundercats jokes.  Fortunately, it all came together perfectly.

So there’s two paragraphs of me gushing about the technology in this movie.  The plot?  Wellll, it’s a story you’ve heard a few times.  But that’s not to say it’s bad.  In fact, other movies who have used it have won Oscars.  None of them had blue aliens, but neither has anyone created a world so amazing as Pandora (the planet).  The Discovery Channel could film a sequel to Planet Earth, call it Planet Pandora, and it would be just as good, or better than the orig- our real planet.  It’s an incredible feast for your senses.  And the best part?  No time is taken to explain the marvels of this planet.  It just exists, yet retains the wonder and mystery.

Avatar is meant to be seen in 3D.  But even if you take a trip to Pandora in 2D, go.  You’ve never experienced anything quite like it.

Grade: A

Cracked.com has some of the best writing out there. I love reading their stuff. Anyway, they’ve got an article posted on those things Hollywood “recycles.”  It’s great and pretty eye-opening if you’ve never read these things before.

Read it here.

In Pulp Fiction, Jules proudly exclaims, “That is a tasty burger” after a healthy bite of a Big Kahuna.  I bring up that scene, not just to highlight tasty burgers, but to remind you of the other fellow.  The one who can’t say anything but “what?!”  Food, Inc. reminded me of that scene due to its focus on meat, but also because as I was watching, I could say nothing else but “What?!”

There’s a saying in highly complicated manufacturing processes that it’s all “a bit like making sausage.”  You’ll enjoy the end product, but you really don’t want to know how it’s made.  Food, Inc. shows how all of our food is a bit like making sausage.  Those packages of meat at the grocery store go through a process so bizarre, you’d be tempted to go vegetarian if you knew how they got there.  Sadly, vegetables aren’t much better.

I first saw posters of this movie in Chipotle.  That restaurant pushes its “Organic” ingredients so I kind of knew what to expect going into this.  Still, actually watching how we raise and slaughter our chickens, pigs, and cows turned my stomach.  There’s a Proverb that says, “A righteous man cares for the needs of his animal, but the kindest acts of the wicked are cruel.”  In your eyes, slaughtering animals for food may be cruel in any capacity, but I don’t go too far down that road.  There’s a lengthy scene in the movie where we watch an organic chicken farmer slaughter chickens.  It’s graphic, sure, but when compared to how the large chicken farms are harvested, there is a very clear line between humane and cruel.

I’m not sure what effect this movie will have on people.  I’ve heard some say we’re just at the mercy of evil corporations, but I was glad to see Food, Inc. show that’s not the case.  Corporations follow the money.  If we want healthier food, it’s our responsibility to shift our spending that direction.

Grade: A

Ain’t It Cool News just posted these.

*drool…

Back when I was working in Corporate America, I’d be forced to take seminars teaching how to protect against corporate espionage.  They were always filled with badly acted short-films where some hottie approches an engineer at a bar and seduces the company secrets from his pants.  It all sounds Bond-ish and awesome, but I’ve never known anyone getting in situations even close to that.  But hey, it makes great movies, right?  Right?

Duplicity looks at the exciting-because-we-tell-you-it-is world of lotions and creams.  You’ve got two CEOs of megacorps who hate each other and will do anything to get the upper hand.  This includes hiring Julia Roberts and Clive Owen as spies.  Perfect.  When those two are working with a bunch of lotion engineers, no one would ever pay any attention to them.  Completely invisible, I tell ya.

So the movie tries to throw a bunch of different twists to get you all confused.  But the reality is that you’re watching two people try and steal a secret formula from one multi-billion dollar CEO to another.  That’s about exciting as making a movie about stealing the Colonel’s secret blend of herbs, spices, and fortnightly craving additives.  Actually, someone needs to make that.

Duplicity has a few high points, but it is pretty much average in every way.

Grade: C