Archive for December, 2007
Angel-A – Review
by john on Dec.09, 2007, under Reviews
Many times, I’ll throw a movie into my rental queue simply because I read about it on another site. Sometimes, I get lucky and find something truly outstanding. Other times I go look up “crap” in a thesaurus. Angel-A sits in the median of those limits. No, Angel-A is not an average movie. It just contains equal moments of pure brilliance and utter rubbish.
Made by the same guy who did The Fifth Element, the basic premise is this: take everyone’s favorite Christmas movie, It’s a Wonderful Life, set it in Paris, and trade Clarence for a 6-foot, leggy blonde named Angela. Oh, and have everyone speak French. The plots are similar (they meet on a bridge and the movie is in black & white), but there are no “Here’s what the world would be like if you were dead” moments.
Differences aside, Angel-A really shines in the basic plot points. (But maybe that can’t be helped when you copy a formula?) Besides the obvious sight-gag of Angela towering over a wimpy French guy, the movie stays light and funny, but tackles some emotionally heavy issues. There’s a scene where the two have to dry out in the women’s restroom. After Angela is chastised for having a guy in there, she responds, “Oh him? He is a woman, too.” That scene sets up the rest of the film as Angela tries to restore this man’s masculinity. For the most part, it all works very well.
Angel-A‘s problems come with the ways Angela helps her “assignment.” As a self-described “sexy bitch,” Angela uses only her sexiness to achieve her goal (read that last sentence with your best sleazy French guy accent). In this world, “sex sells” is not only a mantra for advertising, but for angels, too.
The movie tries to give a backstory to Angela, but it’s mostly garbage. I think the director knew this so not much time is spent on it. I’d forgotten about it until it showed up at the end to make a chick-flick cheesy moment, vomit inducing.
So overall, the movie’s not horrible. It’s great in spots, but severely objectionable in others. Watch only if you’ve ever wondered what Clarence would be like as a sexy bitch.
Grade: C
Pathfinder – Review
by john on Dec.05, 2007, under Reviews
Pathfinder starts out with the following floating text:
North America was invaded by
ruthless marauders intent on
settling its shores.
Something stopped them.
The opening scene shows a Native American woman stumbling on the ruins of a ship filled with dead vikings. So I think to myself, “Awesome! This is going to be a story about some creature from Indian mythology and how it killed all the vikings.” WRONG! Instead, I got a cross between Rambo II and Disney’s Pocahontas. It was like picking a chocolate and hoping for caramel, but getting toothpaste instead (/obligatory Jim Gaffigan joke).
Karl Urban plays the Pathfinder. Or at least he plays one of them, because it seemed like everyone was called “Pathfinder” at some point in the film. The word is used so much, my MST3K “we have title!” jokes grew stale 30 minutes into it. They do try to change it up a bit with dialog like, “Go. Find her. I must take a different path.” But when literary word play like that gets delivered from a dying man, I started to lose a little support for the WGA strike.
My parting advice: If this one ever crosses your path, find a different one.
Grade: D
Talk to Me – Review
by john on Dec.04, 2007, under Reviews
I like biopics. Regardless of how much poetic license is taken, I always feel like I’ve learned something after watching one. Sorta like The Discovery Channel if sharks fell into drugs and booze before turning their life around and finally eating the man that’s been keeping ‘em down.
But biopics have to have one thing that separates them from documentaries. They have to tell a story, and they must follow the rule of stories. That is – a beginning, a climax, and a satisfying ending.
Talk to Me is a fine example of why this must happen. The movie begins the story of Petey Green in a 1960s Washington D.C. prison. Petey is acting DJ for the convicts and through a series of humorous conflicts, he ends up in a real radio station.
At this point in the movie, everything is great. The characters are likable. The setting is interesting. I’m really into it. Then, the movie’s big climax comes with the murder of Martin Luther King Jr. and everything gets even better.
But then the movie falls apart. You see, the whole MLK moment happens about an hour into the movie. With another hour left, there’s really no other place to go but down. Sure, Petey gets rich and famous, but it’s all incredibly slow and boring. The manufactured conflicts that come are nothing compared to the first half. They even made Johnny Carson boring. How is that possible?
As a story, Talk to Me‘s beginning is great, the climax is fantastic, and the ending comes an hour too late.
Grade: C
New Batman: The Dark Knight poster
by john on Dec.04, 2007, under Musings
Ain’t it Cool News posted a new poster for The Dark Knight.
How cool is that?!
